She flipped the cop over the windshield
Lately, I seem to be sharing a lot of cop stories with my ride-share clients.
Here’s a traumatic story my client shared with me that happened near the Excel Energy Center.
“I was going to take a turn on 7th and noticed a cop directing traffic,” he said, “And a woman was speeding down the street and hits the cop and he flies over the windshield and lands on the ground. The cop must have gotten up, quick as hell and pulled the woman out of her car.”
“What the nerve!” exclaimed the passenger next to him. “I’m surprised he didn’t do something worse.
“I guess the woman had no idea what was going on, she didn’t speak any English,” said the passenger.
***
I told my client that I had witnessed a fight between an older man and an Amazon worker. The two were arguing in the middle of the intersection and the Amazon worker was the one backing away fast.
“Yeah, because he’s just trying to do his job,” said my client.
“Have you ever had to call the cops on someone?” I asked.
“Funny that you should ask that,” he said, “because right before you picked me up I had called the cops because there was a stranger in the lobby of our apartment building. They keep the lobby unlocked and a lot of the homeless come in to seek solace or sanctuary from the cold. But it can be quite dangerous for the tenants.”
“That reminds of this story I heard during improv,” I said.
“Wait, you do improv?” he asked.
“Oh yeah!” I said.
“That’s awesome!” he said.
“Anyway…we were going around the group and asking everyone to tell us a story that caused them fear.”
(I learned that this is a great ice breaker)
“This woman was telling everyone a story about how a guy tried to come in her building and said he had a gun, and the woman thrust both her hands out and pushed him, and then slammed the door in his face, and locked it.”
“I thought that was such a great reaction. And then I told everyone my fear story. It was raining, and go outside and walk towards the dumpsters near my abandoned car and notice all my items from my car strewn across the boulevard, and I notice people sitting in my car with the windows fogged up. I make eye contact with the driver and two people in the back seat get out and start running in opposite directions. The guy in the driver’s seat gets out and says:
“Madame, are you going to call the police? In a french accent.”
(my heart is pounding)
“No,” I say, “but I’m going to need you to pick up all those items and put them back in the car. Then the guy proceeds to pick up all the items.”
“Wow!” said my ride-share client. “If I were you, I would have duct tape the car doors while the clients were asleep and then called the police, and turned on the voice activation system in French that said, ‘You are under arrest!’”
“That’s quite the imagination!” I declared.
“Good luck on your improv,” my client said when I arrived at his stop. “And Maybe one day I’ll see you on the tube, or in an SNL sketch.”
I smile.
